aphorisms dug up from my childhood memories
Storified by orangejuice_inc · Mon, Dec 31 2012 01:24:19
fav this and i'll send you some childlike wisdom!
@orangejuice_inc @porkbeard ski jackets make everyone fat space marines
@orangejuice_inc @heronhell vents are secret passages your action figures can use to skip between levels, much like marios secret warp pipes
@orangejuice_inc @Gvrnmntz theres a spot under this squirrel beanies arm that u can squeeze to make him punch. now hes Nutty, Ninja Squirrel
@orangejuice_inc @rush2USA you can land small airplanes on clouds and just hang out up there if you have a license
@orangejuice_inc @stormboadicea blowdryers r definitly molten heatrayblasters. your moms medusa& shes usin them2 keep her snakes under cntrl
@orangejuice_inc @ghostbones tiny people like elves can probably put a pillow & blanket & tiny stuffed animal in a drawer & sleep there
@orangejuice_inc @jnglwzrd yr name wasnt knittd in2ur xmas stockng. @ yr birth a stockng w yr name grew ona tree somwher&yr parents found it
@orangejuice_inc @twentytentacles when u throw a log into the fire yr killing thousands of microscopic log gnomes but it's ok it's legal
@orangejuice_inc @snakep1ss in church they say snakes r evil. theyre wrong! snakes are really nice. 1 time i saw a lady w/ a snake @ a party
@orangejuice_inc @sex_colum theres a lil rubber snakehead stuck on my door handl & if it ever falls off it cant protect my room from monstrs
@orangejuice_inc @monsterfoods there are definitely trolls in norway's forests. i have not seen them but i am certain they have seen me.
@orangejuice_inc @BlackLagooner u evr c1of those places w/lotsa lockrs calld"ministorage"thats wer th ministors wait in stasis b4goin2church
@orangejuice_inc @nadineseyepatch if your house is ever borken into, you can talk the thieves down with cookies & milk much like santa
